According to this article on aintitcool.
But I still don't mind a "re-imagining." Bottom line, the more different it is from the original, the better the chance I'll be able to watch and enjoy with an open mind.
If they just tried to recast the characters and tell the same story, it'll be a disaster akin to doing a remake of Star Wars, where in this version Luke Skywalker is played by Shia LaBeouf, Han Solo is played by Christian Bale, etc. but doing a blow-by-blow re-enactment.
If the idea is to preserve the intelligence, social commentary and balls-out action of the first RoboCop with a different story and characters, fine... you got my ticket.
Actually -- let's be honest -- they have my ticket unless the reviews are truly, stunningly, Crystal Skull-level awful.
Wednesday, July 30, 2008
Tuesday, July 29, 2008
I Was Just in My First Real Live California Earthquake
Luckily, it was no big deal... at least for me. It was a 5.8 that hit in Chino, so I'm sure they're in way more trouble.
The office is near a major street, so when I feel a rumble, it's because a big truck is going by. So I felt a rumble and ignored it at first. Then the entire building shifted back-and-forth. It was very mild, like a jello mold on a plate getting wiggled a bit. But still, it's like... damn, the building's fuckin' moving around, that can't be good.
It went away. Then another move came. It was lighter. But I thought: what if the next one isn't lighter? Time to split.
It was chillin' enough that I just kinda went downstairs and asked, "Anyone know how to survive an earthquake?" I went outside. I figured, if it got really bad, the chances of a tree falling on me were less than the building caving in.
Nothing happened, it was over. Not only did the trees not tip, no leaves fell.
I tried calling my family on my cell to let them know I wasn't dead, but the cell was out -- everyone in LA was calling each other. But I got through on the office phone.
This is actually my second earthquake. I felt a similar one back when I was going to SIU. That one was even weirder, because I had no prior experience to which I could compare.
And now a million fire trucks are going by...
The office is near a major street, so when I feel a rumble, it's because a big truck is going by. So I felt a rumble and ignored it at first. Then the entire building shifted back-and-forth. It was very mild, like a jello mold on a plate getting wiggled a bit. But still, it's like... damn, the building's fuckin' moving around, that can't be good.
It went away. Then another move came. It was lighter. But I thought: what if the next one isn't lighter? Time to split.
It was chillin' enough that I just kinda went downstairs and asked, "Anyone know how to survive an earthquake?" I went outside. I figured, if it got really bad, the chances of a tree falling on me were less than the building caving in.
Nothing happened, it was over. Not only did the trees not tip, no leaves fell.
I tried calling my family on my cell to let them know I wasn't dead, but the cell was out -- everyone in LA was calling each other. But I got through on the office phone.
This is actually my second earthquake. I felt a similar one back when I was going to SIU. That one was even weirder, because I had no prior experience to which I could compare.
And now a million fire trucks are going by...
Friday, July 25, 2008
The Dark Knight
I've held off talking about The Dark Knight, mostly because I don't really have anything more to add to the conversation. You might've heard it's brilliant, and has knocked over ten straight box office records like bowling pins. This is all true.
In post-flick conversation, Vik brought up a harrowing notion: this movie is impossible to follow. I'm sure the WB execs are clutching their stomachs with one hand while they pop champagne with the other.
Because it's impossible that a movie this successful will not have a sequel. But this picture is so good, it's already turned up to 11. And Heath is gone. How do you top that, to give the audience even more than the last one? How do you find actors willing to take on that thankless task?
It's a catch-22. But I think I have an idea.
What if they get all of the people who have played Batman in the past to return, but this time as villains? It'll be Keaton, Kilmer, Clooney and West versus Bale.
In post-flick conversation, Vik brought up a harrowing notion: this movie is impossible to follow. I'm sure the WB execs are clutching their stomachs with one hand while they pop champagne with the other.
Because it's impossible that a movie this successful will not have a sequel. But this picture is so good, it's already turned up to 11. And Heath is gone. How do you top that, to give the audience even more than the last one? How do you find actors willing to take on that thankless task?
It's a catch-22. But I think I have an idea.
What if they get all of the people who have played Batman in the past to return, but this time as villains? It'll be Keaton, Kilmer, Clooney and West versus Bale.
In Other Remake News: RoboCop is Official
Per the article in Variety here.
David Self is attached to write the screenplay. I've read The Wolf Man script he wrote, and it's really good. And Aronofsky is a talented guy.
So... it could be worse.
David Self is attached to write the screenplay. I've read The Wolf Man script he wrote, and it's really good. And Aronofsky is a talented guy.
So... it could be worse.
Thursday, July 24, 2008
MTV is Remaking Rocky Horror
In case you haven't heard, here's the Variety article.
Why the fuck not? Can't be any worse than Shock Treatment.
Why the fuck not? Can't be any worse than Shock Treatment.
Monday, July 21, 2008
Gotta Do a Bit of a Take-Back...
...on Urban Justice. After doing some writing last night, I was gonna just throw the disc in the Netflix envelope and go on with my life when I thought, "What the hell? Why not watch the end?" And I ended up liking act three.
The cheap 'n' grungy nature of the movie suddenly became a plus... the action scenes have a gritty realism to them, because there's so little artifice. The movie kinda turns into a "CIA hitman vs. the hood" fight, with Seagal mowing down gangbangers. He has a cool machine gun with a see-through clip so you can just glance down and see how many bullets are left. (Why aren't they all like that?) He has a couple of fun badass lines, and he kicks this one dude in the nuts like ten times. Once is usually enough, but I guess if you're fucking with Seagal you'd better be prepared for him to put a zero on that number and kick your nuts until he gets tired.
The cheap 'n' grungy nature of the movie suddenly became a plus... the action scenes have a gritty realism to them, because there's so little artifice. The movie kinda turns into a "CIA hitman vs. the hood" fight, with Seagal mowing down gangbangers. He has a cool machine gun with a see-through clip so you can just glance down and see how many bullets are left. (Why aren't they all like that?) He has a couple of fun badass lines, and he kicks this one dude in the nuts like ten times. Once is usually enough, but I guess if you're fucking with Seagal you'd better be prepared for him to put a zero on that number and kick your nuts until he gets tired.
Friday, July 18, 2008
Urban Justice and Writing Stuff
Last night I watched Urban Justice, starring Steven Seagal, who also produced.
There's a reason for this. I recently read Vern's book Seagalogy, which is amazing. He gave a glowing review of Out for Justice, and in doing so described a movie I very much wanted to see. I didn't catch Out for Justice until the mid-90s. By then, I was already into Hong Kong shit. Compared to The Killer and Hardboiled and Bodyguard from Beijing, Out for Justice came across as kinda slow, boring and small. It's a movie about one dude driving around one neighborhood in New York? C'mon. And why watch a lumbering dinosaur like Seagal when, for the same three-dollar rental, I could get Jackie Chan or Chow Yun Fat?
Long/short -- I Netflixed Out for Justice and FUCKING LOVED IT. This is an amazing movie. Yeah, it ain't The Killer. But that's not because it's not as good, it's just a different kind of action movie, something I didn't understand at the time. That and, thanks to the introduction of Hong Kong-level action via The Matrix and its adherents/immitators, I've gotten filled up on wire-fu and pistol opera. Lately, I've gotten into grittier, more realistic badass movies. At this stage in my movie-watching life, Point Blank is a lot more interesting to me than Wanted, if you get my drift. Beyond that, though, Out for Justice is a fucking brilliant piece of action cinema. If you haven't seen it, see it. Great stuff.
So... with that pleasant surprise in mind, I looked at other Seagal movies that Vern was recommending. I'd seen all the "good" ones. But he said Urban Justice was pretty good for a latter-day, direct-to-DVD Seagal flick. So I got it.
And -- lemme say this, if Urban Justice is the best Seagal movie to come along in a while, I'm really glad I've missed out on all the others. There is a vast gulf between the Seagal who starred in Out for Justice and the guy in Urban Justice. I didn't recognize him at first. When he shows up at a cop's funeral, I thought, "Who's this pudgy Mexican saxophone player?" But only significant characters watch funerals from afar. It had to have been Seagal. And it was, and I was shocked.
There are a few weird moments in the movie. For example, Seagal beats the shit outta four gangbangers. He kills one of them in the fight, and incapacitates the other three. Two of the three are wounded but lucid, the biggest guy is unconscious. Without any apparent reason or provocation, Seagal straddles the big guy (who's face-down), interlaces his fingers around the guy's jaw, and pulls back on the dude's head until his neck breaks. Was Seagal showing the other two that he wasn't a guy to fuck with? I'm not sure, because there's no matching reaction from the two guys (staring in shock or yelling "What the fuck!" or whatever -- the neck-breaking plays as a non-sequitur).
But it's mostly just kinda slow, cheap and small... exactly how I felt about Out for Justice when I first saw it. So maybe I'll come back to it ten years from now and find I've come to a place in life where I now love it, but I don't think so.
I also got Accion Mutante, Alex de la Iglesia's first movie. It also seems like his weirdest. I have no idea what to expect, but I've seen enough of Iglesia's movies that I'd be surprised if it wasn't awesome in some way. I'm planning to film school it over the weekend, along with The Ruins.
Oh, yeah... last night I hit page 32 on a script I started on Tuesday. I'm not bragging about my badass writing whatever so much as I'm surprised at how easily this one is flying outta me. It's strange... I've been working on a novel since January. In that time, I've written DEMON (a script) and now I'm writing this. DEMON just kinda came right out, too.
Also, over Memorial Day weekend, I slammed out 40-ppg of a script in one long marathon session. I'd seen the entire movie, and the writing was just transcription, along with finding fun new stuff to add as I wrote. I had to scrap those pages because there's already a very similar project in development (something I'd otherwise check on before writing, but in this case I just went with it anyway -- lesson learned).
But we're talking about three scripts in a seven-month period, about the same level of output for me without trying to write a novel at the same time. Which is happening because, instead of hacking out 2-3 pages a day over a longer period of time, with DEMON and these other things I'm cranking 10-15 pages a day over a short, intense period. Last night I only wrote seven and felt kinda bummed.
My theory is that, I've been writing scripts for a long enough time, one right after the other, that, even if I'm not focused on writing scripts, I'm still cooking them up in the back of my head. But, since my day-to-day writing has been on the novel, the scripts don't demand to come out until I've gotten them figured out, whether I know it and am trying to or not.
What I'm saying is, the thing I'm working on right now is following the same pattern of DEMON and the second script, in terms of flow. I'm kinda digging this whole thing. So... from now on I think I'll keep working on novels, and crack out scripts when they're ready to come out. It seems like I'm getting the same script output (three or four a year), while at the same time working in another writing form and getting those titles on the board.
Good times.
There's a reason for this. I recently read Vern's book Seagalogy, which is amazing. He gave a glowing review of Out for Justice, and in doing so described a movie I very much wanted to see. I didn't catch Out for Justice until the mid-90s. By then, I was already into Hong Kong shit. Compared to The Killer and Hardboiled and Bodyguard from Beijing, Out for Justice came across as kinda slow, boring and small. It's a movie about one dude driving around one neighborhood in New York? C'mon. And why watch a lumbering dinosaur like Seagal when, for the same three-dollar rental, I could get Jackie Chan or Chow Yun Fat?
Long/short -- I Netflixed Out for Justice and FUCKING LOVED IT. This is an amazing movie. Yeah, it ain't The Killer. But that's not because it's not as good, it's just a different kind of action movie, something I didn't understand at the time. That and, thanks to the introduction of Hong Kong-level action via The Matrix and its adherents/immitators, I've gotten filled up on wire-fu and pistol opera. Lately, I've gotten into grittier, more realistic badass movies. At this stage in my movie-watching life, Point Blank is a lot more interesting to me than Wanted, if you get my drift. Beyond that, though, Out for Justice is a fucking brilliant piece of action cinema. If you haven't seen it, see it. Great stuff.
So... with that pleasant surprise in mind, I looked at other Seagal movies that Vern was recommending. I'd seen all the "good" ones. But he said Urban Justice was pretty good for a latter-day, direct-to-DVD Seagal flick. So I got it.
And -- lemme say this, if Urban Justice is the best Seagal movie to come along in a while, I'm really glad I've missed out on all the others. There is a vast gulf between the Seagal who starred in Out for Justice and the guy in Urban Justice. I didn't recognize him at first. When he shows up at a cop's funeral, I thought, "Who's this pudgy Mexican saxophone player?" But only significant characters watch funerals from afar. It had to have been Seagal. And it was, and I was shocked.
There are a few weird moments in the movie. For example, Seagal beats the shit outta four gangbangers. He kills one of them in the fight, and incapacitates the other three. Two of the three are wounded but lucid, the biggest guy is unconscious. Without any apparent reason or provocation, Seagal straddles the big guy (who's face-down), interlaces his fingers around the guy's jaw, and pulls back on the dude's head until his neck breaks. Was Seagal showing the other two that he wasn't a guy to fuck with? I'm not sure, because there's no matching reaction from the two guys (staring in shock or yelling "What the fuck!" or whatever -- the neck-breaking plays as a non-sequitur).
But it's mostly just kinda slow, cheap and small... exactly how I felt about Out for Justice when I first saw it. So maybe I'll come back to it ten years from now and find I've come to a place in life where I now love it, but I don't think so.
I also got Accion Mutante, Alex de la Iglesia's first movie. It also seems like his weirdest. I have no idea what to expect, but I've seen enough of Iglesia's movies that I'd be surprised if it wasn't awesome in some way. I'm planning to film school it over the weekend, along with The Ruins.
Oh, yeah... last night I hit page 32 on a script I started on Tuesday. I'm not bragging about my badass writing whatever so much as I'm surprised at how easily this one is flying outta me. It's strange... I've been working on a novel since January. In that time, I've written DEMON (a script) and now I'm writing this. DEMON just kinda came right out, too.
Also, over Memorial Day weekend, I slammed out 40-ppg of a script in one long marathon session. I'd seen the entire movie, and the writing was just transcription, along with finding fun new stuff to add as I wrote. I had to scrap those pages because there's already a very similar project in development (something I'd otherwise check on before writing, but in this case I just went with it anyway -- lesson learned).
But we're talking about three scripts in a seven-month period, about the same level of output for me without trying to write a novel at the same time. Which is happening because, instead of hacking out 2-3 pages a day over a longer period of time, with DEMON and these other things I'm cranking 10-15 pages a day over a short, intense period. Last night I only wrote seven and felt kinda bummed.
My theory is that, I've been writing scripts for a long enough time, one right after the other, that, even if I'm not focused on writing scripts, I'm still cooking them up in the back of my head. But, since my day-to-day writing has been on the novel, the scripts don't demand to come out until I've gotten them figured out, whether I know it and am trying to or not.
What I'm saying is, the thing I'm working on right now is following the same pattern of DEMON and the second script, in terms of flow. I'm kinda digging this whole thing. So... from now on I think I'll keep working on novels, and crack out scripts when they're ready to come out. It seems like I'm getting the same script output (three or four a year), while at the same time working in another writing form and getting those titles on the board.
Good times.
Thursday, July 17, 2008
The Fast Food Test
Sometimes for lunch I hit Jack in the Box or Subway. I try not to go too often, mostly because fast food is bad for you, but also because I inevitably end up in line behind someone who can't quite wrap their mind around the challenge of ordering at a fast food restaurant.
Which brings me to my point. There are many ways to quantify/qualify intelligence. Many of these methods rely on complex, time-intensive testing. But, like so many things in life, there's a quick 'n' dirty way to gauge intelligence in the field. It's not as exact as, say, I.Q. testing, but we can consider it another tool in the box.
It's the Fast Food Test.
There is a line drawn across humanity. If you are able to place an order at a fast food restaurant with a minimum of hassle, you are above the Fast Food Test line. If you find the menu confusing, don't know what to say or do, get angry for no apparent reason, require ten minutes to order a cheeseburger, try to order stuff that's not on the menu, or generally in some way have a hard time placing your order, waiting for a couple of minutes, getting your food and leaving, you are below the Fast Food Test line.
Which means you're a fucking moron.
I understand there are many different types of intelligence. Someone with very little knowledge of U.S history, for instance, may be very knowledgeable when it comes to automotive repair. And I'm not saying that, if you pluck a South American tribesman from his village in the Amazon River Basin and plop him in a McDonald's on Wilshire, he's automatically stupid because he's confused. (Besides the whole "teleporting from the Amazon to McDonald's in LA" thing). The Fast Food test refers to Americans with a basic level of social interaction with the culture at large. If there's a possibility that you've seen, heard of or been inside a fast food restaurant, this test applies.
Because the corporations running these franchises are well aware their goods and services are pitched to the broadest common social denominator. Meaning: everything is designed for anybody to understand. When you walk into a place, guaranteed everything you see and experience has been thoroughly contemplated, designed and test marketed. This ain't rocket science. It is the exact opposite of rocket science. Which means that people who fail the Fast Food Test have gone into a place that's been specifically created to allow stupid people to feed themselves... and they still fuck it up.
Unfortunately, almost every time I get fast food, I'm exposed to people who are failing the Fast Food Test. Which leads me to wonder... does fast food attract stupid people? We know it makes you fat and unhealthy, but does it make you stupid as well? Why the constant concentration of idiocy in these places?
Which brings me to my point. There are many ways to quantify/qualify intelligence. Many of these methods rely on complex, time-intensive testing. But, like so many things in life, there's a quick 'n' dirty way to gauge intelligence in the field. It's not as exact as, say, I.Q. testing, but we can consider it another tool in the box.
It's the Fast Food Test.
There is a line drawn across humanity. If you are able to place an order at a fast food restaurant with a minimum of hassle, you are above the Fast Food Test line. If you find the menu confusing, don't know what to say or do, get angry for no apparent reason, require ten minutes to order a cheeseburger, try to order stuff that's not on the menu, or generally in some way have a hard time placing your order, waiting for a couple of minutes, getting your food and leaving, you are below the Fast Food Test line.
Which means you're a fucking moron.
I understand there are many different types of intelligence. Someone with very little knowledge of U.S history, for instance, may be very knowledgeable when it comes to automotive repair. And I'm not saying that, if you pluck a South American tribesman from his village in the Amazon River Basin and plop him in a McDonald's on Wilshire, he's automatically stupid because he's confused. (Besides the whole "teleporting from the Amazon to McDonald's in LA" thing). The Fast Food test refers to Americans with a basic level of social interaction with the culture at large. If there's a possibility that you've seen, heard of or been inside a fast food restaurant, this test applies.
Because the corporations running these franchises are well aware their goods and services are pitched to the broadest common social denominator. Meaning: everything is designed for anybody to understand. When you walk into a place, guaranteed everything you see and experience has been thoroughly contemplated, designed and test marketed. This ain't rocket science. It is the exact opposite of rocket science. Which means that people who fail the Fast Food Test have gone into a place that's been specifically created to allow stupid people to feed themselves... and they still fuck it up.
Unfortunately, almost every time I get fast food, I'm exposed to people who are failing the Fast Food Test. Which leads me to wonder... does fast food attract stupid people? We know it makes you fat and unhealthy, but does it make you stupid as well? Why the constant concentration of idiocy in these places?
Still More RoboCop Stuff
Some better news... rumors are floating around, like at chud and defamer, that this RoboCop movie we've been talking about might be a sequel instead of a remake.
I'm down with that.
A remake seems to always imply a bettering of the original, even if that improvement is (a la TCM, etc) just making it hip for the new generation.
There is no improvement of RoboCop. It is a perfect movie. The film school poseurs can stick Citizen Kane up their collective asses -- I'll take Alex J. Murphy, Clarence Boddicker and Dick Jones any day.
Whereas a sequel is kinda its own thing. RoboCop especially has survived multiple awful sequels and spin-offs. If Aronofsky's movie sucks, we can just throw it on the pile with the others. If it's good... then hey, we would then live in a world where a decent RoboCop sequel existed.
And I like the idea that it's decades after the original RoboCop program (brought to New Detroit by Security Concepts) has been shuttered. Could be fun, we'll see.
I'm down with that.
A remake seems to always imply a bettering of the original, even if that improvement is (a la TCM, etc) just making it hip for the new generation.
There is no improvement of RoboCop. It is a perfect movie. The film school poseurs can stick Citizen Kane up their collective asses -- I'll take Alex J. Murphy, Clarence Boddicker and Dick Jones any day.
Whereas a sequel is kinda its own thing. RoboCop especially has survived multiple awful sequels and spin-offs. If Aronofsky's movie sucks, we can just throw it on the pile with the others. If it's good... then hey, we would then live in a world where a decent RoboCop sequel existed.
And I like the idea that it's decades after the original RoboCop program (brought to New Detroit by Security Concepts) has been shuttered. Could be fun, we'll see.
Wednesday, July 16, 2008
Bearwatch Bulletin July 16, 2008
I think this guy kinda got what was coming.
Like Billy Milano said, "Don't go in there. You best beware. And please don't feed the fuckin' bears!"
Like Billy Milano said, "Don't go in there. You best beware. And please don't feed the fuckin' bears!"
"Dad? There's a man covered with BBQ sauce hiding in the basement."
This one speaks for itself.
When I saw the headline, I thought, "This happened in either Texas or Wisconsin."
When I saw the headline, I thought, "This happened in either Texas or Wisconsin."
Man Cuts Off His Head With a Chainsaw
Check it.
Deaths-by-chainsaw are always of interest. This is the first one I've ever seen that was self-inflicted.
Deaths-by-chainsaw are always of interest. This is the first one I've ever seen that was self-inflicted.
Tuesday, July 15, 2008
I've Seen Some Flicks
I frequently make the joke that I'm so busy trying to get movies made that I rarely see them in the theater. But I have to, it's my church. If I go a month or so without catching a flick in the big, dark room, I start to get that itch. It's the same itch I get if I go a week or so without reading a book.
Lately, I got a real bug up my ass, and I've actually been hitting the theater like I did back in film school. I saw:
Wall-E -- fucking amazing. With a minimum of dialogue, it tells an intelligent, exciting and emotionally complex story. There are some really pertinent and subversive themes right out front, in big, bold letters so even kids'll get it, but without for one second stopping the movie to preach. This movie has one of the funniest scenes I've seen in a long time. (In case you've seen it, I'm talking about when the Axiom tips to the side). I was in tears. The movie reminded me in a lotta ways of Idiocracy, which Fox dumped for a single weekend. Which goes to show: if you truly want to talk to as many people as possible about something on your mind, wrap it in the most commercial possible project. You can play punk rock songs about how big corporations are bad and maybe sell a few thousand CDs and play a bunch of shows, or you can be Pixar, establish a track record for excellent and commercial titles, and you can express the same themes in a medium that'll play to millions worldwide.
Kung Fu Panda -- Overall, I'm a way bigger fan of Pixar than Dreamworks Animation. I like the first Shrek, but I absolutely hated Shark Tale. But I'd read a lot of great reviews of Kung Fu Panda, saying it was basically a straight-up wuxia movie with animals. They weren't lyin' -- this flick's awesome. There are some seriously kick-ass action sequences: Tai Lung's escape, the fight on the bridge, the climactic battle. The story doesn't reinvent the wheel... it's a pretty by-the-numbers coming of age kung-fu tale we've seen a million times, especially in the older flicks. It's obvious the filmmakers watched the classics; there are a lot of little nods and homages without ever doing a straight-up lift. For instance, there's a training sequence between Po and his master with a dumpling that's a lot like the "take this cup from my hand" scene in Snake in the Eagle's Shadow (one of my all-time faves, BTW), their dojo has a room full of hazards that reminded me of 36 Chambers of Shaolin, the Furious Five are basically the good version of Five Deadly Venoms, etc. In the same way Wall-E packages subversive punk rock ideas into a form kids can like, Kung Fu Panda is like a kung fu/wuxia movie starter kit.
Hellboy II: The Golden Army -- I was gonna catch Wanted this past weekend, but this was playing in the main theater at Grauman's Chinese, and I'm a sucker for the big room. We're also taking a serious look at Hungary for The Un-Dead, which is where this shot, and I wanted to see what they got on the screen. I liked but didn't quite love the first Hellboy. I kinda felt the same way about this one, too. There's a lot to like. Since Gilliam's fallen on hard times, it's great to have a fantasist getting work into the theaters again. (Besides Tim Burton, I mean). The whole movie's stuffed with creatures and practical effects. There are some fun action sequences, I like Ron Perlman and I'm madly in love with Selma Blair. (Mmmmmmm... Selma Blair...) But, I dunno... it's the kinda movie that's awesome on paper, but while I was watching it I was just kinda-sorta engaged. It doesn't have any one scene that truly blew me away, like the Axiom-tipping in Wall-E or the bridge fight in Kung Fu Panda. I was way more engaged with the villain -- he had some cool weapons, he had an engaging arc, and I really dug his fight in the throne room. There are Guillermo del Toro movies I LOVE (Pan's Labyrinth, Devil's Backbone, Cronos) and movies I like (Blade II, Hellboy) and this one just falls in the latter category. Though I will say this -- the scenes in the Troll Market and the throne room got me excited to see Del Toro's take on The Hobbit. I think his take on the spiders in Mirkwood's gonna be awesome.
Lately, I got a real bug up my ass, and I've actually been hitting the theater like I did back in film school. I saw:
Wall-E -- fucking amazing. With a minimum of dialogue, it tells an intelligent, exciting and emotionally complex story. There are some really pertinent and subversive themes right out front, in big, bold letters so even kids'll get it, but without for one second stopping the movie to preach. This movie has one of the funniest scenes I've seen in a long time. (In case you've seen it, I'm talking about when the Axiom tips to the side). I was in tears. The movie reminded me in a lotta ways of Idiocracy, which Fox dumped for a single weekend. Which goes to show: if you truly want to talk to as many people as possible about something on your mind, wrap it in the most commercial possible project. You can play punk rock songs about how big corporations are bad and maybe sell a few thousand CDs and play a bunch of shows, or you can be Pixar, establish a track record for excellent and commercial titles, and you can express the same themes in a medium that'll play to millions worldwide.
Kung Fu Panda -- Overall, I'm a way bigger fan of Pixar than Dreamworks Animation. I like the first Shrek, but I absolutely hated Shark Tale. But I'd read a lot of great reviews of Kung Fu Panda, saying it was basically a straight-up wuxia movie with animals. They weren't lyin' -- this flick's awesome. There are some seriously kick-ass action sequences: Tai Lung's escape, the fight on the bridge, the climactic battle. The story doesn't reinvent the wheel... it's a pretty by-the-numbers coming of age kung-fu tale we've seen a million times, especially in the older flicks. It's obvious the filmmakers watched the classics; there are a lot of little nods and homages without ever doing a straight-up lift. For instance, there's a training sequence between Po and his master with a dumpling that's a lot like the "take this cup from my hand" scene in Snake in the Eagle's Shadow (one of my all-time faves, BTW), their dojo has a room full of hazards that reminded me of 36 Chambers of Shaolin, the Furious Five are basically the good version of Five Deadly Venoms, etc. In the same way Wall-E packages subversive punk rock ideas into a form kids can like, Kung Fu Panda is like a kung fu/wuxia movie starter kit.
Hellboy II: The Golden Army -- I was gonna catch Wanted this past weekend, but this was playing in the main theater at Grauman's Chinese, and I'm a sucker for the big room. We're also taking a serious look at Hungary for The Un-Dead, which is where this shot, and I wanted to see what they got on the screen. I liked but didn't quite love the first Hellboy. I kinda felt the same way about this one, too. There's a lot to like. Since Gilliam's fallen on hard times, it's great to have a fantasist getting work into the theaters again. (Besides Tim Burton, I mean). The whole movie's stuffed with creatures and practical effects. There are some fun action sequences, I like Ron Perlman and I'm madly in love with Selma Blair. (Mmmmmmm... Selma Blair...) But, I dunno... it's the kinda movie that's awesome on paper, but while I was watching it I was just kinda-sorta engaged. It doesn't have any one scene that truly blew me away, like the Axiom-tipping in Wall-E or the bridge fight in Kung Fu Panda. I was way more engaged with the villain -- he had some cool weapons, he had an engaging arc, and I really dug his fight in the throne room. There are Guillermo del Toro movies I LOVE (Pan's Labyrinth, Devil's Backbone, Cronos) and movies I like (Blade II, Hellboy) and this one just falls in the latter category. Though I will say this -- the scenes in the Troll Market and the throne room got me excited to see Del Toro's take on The Hobbit. I think his take on the spiders in Mirkwood's gonna be awesome.
Friday, July 11, 2008
The Coolest Video Game Ever
I got some solid writing in last night, kicked back and played some Mass Effect. It's your standard go-around-and-perform-missions kinda game, but this one's in space... in the future.
Lotsa fun. My dude has an assault rifle that shoots bullets full of radioactive waste. I hoped my victims would melt like Emil in RoboCop, but they just turn green and die. That's okay. The only good mutant robot is a dead mutant robot. And I have an alien and a psychic chick who tag around behind me and help fuck shit up. Good times.
But while I was playing, it occurred to me that this is not the most awesome game ever. In fact, the most awesome game ever doesn't exist -- YET.
Do you know what the most awesome game ever is/would be?
Fuckin' Heavy Metal, homes.
Imagine... the Den levels. The WWII bomber levels. Playing the sword chick and flying around on that bird. Hanover Fist. The taxi guy with a laser that shoots out the back, fighting off drones. Getting bonuses for finding niborg.
I would willingly drop $60 and 20 hours to put a boot in the Loc-Nar's ass.
AW, GIMME A BREAK!!!
Lotsa fun. My dude has an assault rifle that shoots bullets full of radioactive waste. I hoped my victims would melt like Emil in RoboCop, but they just turn green and die. That's okay. The only good mutant robot is a dead mutant robot. And I have an alien and a psychic chick who tag around behind me and help fuck shit up. Good times.
But while I was playing, it occurred to me that this is not the most awesome game ever. In fact, the most awesome game ever doesn't exist -- YET.
Do you know what the most awesome game ever is/would be?
Fuckin' Heavy Metal, homes.
Imagine... the Den levels. The WWII bomber levels. Playing the sword chick and flying around on that bird. Hanover Fist. The taxi guy with a laser that shoots out the back, fighting off drones. Getting bonuses for finding niborg.
I would willingly drop $60 and 20 hours to put a boot in the Loc-Nar's ass.
AW, GIMME A BREAK!!!
Thursday, July 10, 2008
More RoboCop
Here on aintitcool.
I agree with Beaks one million percent.
I'm not rabid over the whole thing -- like I've said before, a remake doesn't make the original wink out of existence -- but I'm well aware the chances for disappointment are exceedingly high. I regard this project with the same nauseous trepidation I get from the new Conan movie.
But it's out of my hands. I can't affect it. All I can do is pray to the Gods of Hollywood: "Pleeeeeaaaase don't suck... pleeeeeeeeeeeaaaaaaaase don't suck..."
You may scoff, but sometimes it works. I made the same prayer over the film adaptation of The Shawshank Redemption, and that came out fine.
And... What the hell? For all we know, a new RoboCop might be brilliant. The first was made in ancient pre-internet days. A new movie could take into account the next generation of technology. The original was also made in the '80s. At the time, we were worried about Russians and crime. It might be cool to use the RoboCop world to explore where we are now, and where we're going.
Or it could just be a dumb action movie with a lot of CGI.
It's hard to say... RoboCop is, at its core, a superhero movie. And the superhero movies we've been seeing lately are pretty fucking awesome. So... I hate the idea of a remake, but I also think there's a better-than-average chance it'll at least be watchable, even if it's not the lightning in a bottle Verhoeven, Miner, Neumeier and Davison caught.
I only hope they're wise enough to keep Basil Poledouris's score.
I'm not sure who could play Clarence Boddicker. Kurtwood Smith's take on the character is an example of perfection.
Just to think outside the box... David Cross?
I like it when comedians play villains. Steve Martin in The Spanish Prisoner. Jim Carrey in Batman Forever.
You could argue that auds wouldn't take him seriously. They wouldn't be afraid of David Cross. There's an easy fix to that: nonstop murder and mayhem.
I dunno. Who else? Ben Foster? I think he's great, and he'd certainly bring some game. But he'd lack the counter-programming aspect a guy like Kurtwood Smith -- who's best known for playing the dad on That '70s Show -- offers. Ben Foster's kind of a go-to psycho, in the same way Dennis Hopper, Crispen Glover and Christopher Walker were our go-to psychos for a long time.
Clarence is scary because he's not a supervillain. He's not a huge muscle guy, he's not a brilliant criminal mastermind. He's just a normal man who has a spring broken in his head, more like a Nazi or a serial killer.
Thus, much as I like Ben Foster, I'd lean more towards the David Cross-types of the world.
How about Dick Jones?
He's like casting Clarence: I think the easy way would be to grab someone like Patrick Stewart, etc. But I believe counter-programming (and by that I don't mean stunt-casting) is the better way. Take a look at Ronnie Cox. The role I'm most aware of him outside of RoboCop is the wimpy/nerdy soft drink salesman in Deliverance. And he is the guy who plays The Man in RoboCop. It's the same paradigm: normal-guy-turned-evil.
Though I think William Petersen would be fantastic.
I agree with Beaks one million percent.
I'm not rabid over the whole thing -- like I've said before, a remake doesn't make the original wink out of existence -- but I'm well aware the chances for disappointment are exceedingly high. I regard this project with the same nauseous trepidation I get from the new Conan movie.
But it's out of my hands. I can't affect it. All I can do is pray to the Gods of Hollywood: "Pleeeeeaaaase don't suck... pleeeeeeeeeeeaaaaaaaase don't suck..."
You may scoff, but sometimes it works. I made the same prayer over the film adaptation of The Shawshank Redemption, and that came out fine.
And... What the hell? For all we know, a new RoboCop might be brilliant. The first was made in ancient pre-internet days. A new movie could take into account the next generation of technology. The original was also made in the '80s. At the time, we were worried about Russians and crime. It might be cool to use the RoboCop world to explore where we are now, and where we're going.
Or it could just be a dumb action movie with a lot of CGI.
It's hard to say... RoboCop is, at its core, a superhero movie. And the superhero movies we've been seeing lately are pretty fucking awesome. So... I hate the idea of a remake, but I also think there's a better-than-average chance it'll at least be watchable, even if it's not the lightning in a bottle Verhoeven, Miner, Neumeier and Davison caught.
I only hope they're wise enough to keep Basil Poledouris's score.
I'm not sure who could play Clarence Boddicker. Kurtwood Smith's take on the character is an example of perfection.
Just to think outside the box... David Cross?
I like it when comedians play villains. Steve Martin in The Spanish Prisoner. Jim Carrey in Batman Forever.
You could argue that auds wouldn't take him seriously. They wouldn't be afraid of David Cross. There's an easy fix to that: nonstop murder and mayhem.
I dunno. Who else? Ben Foster? I think he's great, and he'd certainly bring some game. But he'd lack the counter-programming aspect a guy like Kurtwood Smith -- who's best known for playing the dad on That '70s Show -- offers. Ben Foster's kind of a go-to psycho, in the same way Dennis Hopper, Crispen Glover and Christopher Walker were our go-to psychos for a long time.
Clarence is scary because he's not a supervillain. He's not a huge muscle guy, he's not a brilliant criminal mastermind. He's just a normal man who has a spring broken in his head, more like a Nazi or a serial killer.
Thus, much as I like Ben Foster, I'd lean more towards the David Cross-types of the world.
How about Dick Jones?
He's like casting Clarence: I think the easy way would be to grab someone like Patrick Stewart, etc. But I believe counter-programming (and by that I don't mean stunt-casting) is the better way. Take a look at Ronnie Cox. The role I'm most aware of him outside of RoboCop is the wimpy/nerdy soft drink salesman in Deliverance. And he is the guy who plays The Man in RoboCop. It's the same paradigm: normal-guy-turned-evil.
Though I think William Petersen would be fantastic.
Wednesday, July 9, 2008
Tuesday, July 8, 2008
Query of the Day
Fun fact: this one has a typo in the title (which I'm not giving here).
"Dear Reader,
I have a complete screenplay that has been edited, with a critique and is "Pitch Ready". The best way to put together a query letter is to put in the Logline and Synopsis below. I can provide the critique upon request. The first paragraph is the Logline and the second the Synopsis.
My screenplay is an Action/Drama that is set against the Global Industrial Food Complex. It is a full length screenplay.
Tim's savior complex constantly pushes him into battles for the underdog. Saving an Iraqi girl from being shot pushes him into a global conspiracy to control the World's Industrial food supply. The choice is "Patented Corporate Seeds" vs. bequeathing "Nature's Seeds", to our children! A battle Tim didn't want!
Tim grows up with a Savior complex in a dysfunctional family in Golden, Oklahoma. The night Broken Bow High wins the Oklahoma State Football Championship, Tim's brother, Jason, dies from a long bout with cancer. He and Otis (his best friend) join the Navy Seals where they can make a difference. They are first into Afghanistan and Iraq. An executive, Warren, for Mansenti Corporation is overseeing the confiscation of the Iraqi national seed bank; Order 81, of the constitutional orders.
Warren's shoots three people in cold blood, and nearly a fourth before Tim can stop him. Maiming Warren ignites a personal vendetta for Tim. Tim is kicked out of the military becoming a drifter. Warren, uses his power to manipulate circumstances to get back at Tim but he becomes the victim of his own plan.
Warren, trying to seduce Tim's cousin Annette (a chemist for Mansenti), is rebuffed because of her affair with Warren's assistant Kathleen. Kathleen reveals to Annette, she works for a group trying to bring down Mansenti.
Mansenti controls the Global Industrial Food Complex that is behind the war in Iraq, their mantra? "Control what people eat and control the people!"
I look forward to hearing from you."
"Dear Reader,
I have a complete screenplay that has been edited, with a critique and is "Pitch Ready". The best way to put together a query letter is to put in the Logline and Synopsis below. I can provide the critique upon request. The first paragraph is the Logline and the second the Synopsis.
My screenplay is an Action/Drama that is set against the Global Industrial Food Complex. It is a full length screenplay.
Tim's savior complex constantly pushes him into battles for the underdog. Saving an Iraqi girl from being shot pushes him into a global conspiracy to control the World's Industrial food supply. The choice is "Patented Corporate Seeds" vs. bequeathing "Nature's Seeds", to our children! A battle Tim didn't want!
Tim grows up with a Savior complex in a dysfunctional family in Golden, Oklahoma. The night Broken Bow High wins the Oklahoma State Football Championship, Tim's brother, Jason, dies from a long bout with cancer. He and Otis (his best friend) join the Navy Seals where they can make a difference. They are first into Afghanistan and Iraq. An executive, Warren, for Mansenti Corporation is overseeing the confiscation of the Iraqi national seed bank; Order 81, of the constitutional orders.
Warren's shoots three people in cold blood, and nearly a fourth before Tim can stop him. Maiming Warren ignites a personal vendetta for Tim. Tim is kicked out of the military becoming a drifter. Warren, uses his power to manipulate circumstances to get back at Tim but he becomes the victim of his own plan.
Warren, trying to seduce Tim's cousin Annette (a chemist for Mansenti), is rebuffed because of her affair with Warren's assistant Kathleen. Kathleen reveals to Annette, she works for a group trying to bring down Mansenti.
Mansenti controls the Global Industrial Food Complex that is behind the war in Iraq, their mantra? "Control what people eat and control the people!"
I look forward to hearing from you."
Wednesday, July 2, 2008
I Think I Cracked FRANK
I gave FRANK a think over this past weekend, came up with some ideas to solve what I thought might be wrong with it. I've been applying the past couple of writing nights, with some good results. The story is faster and smoother. I might have to lose a couple of characters and fun scenes, but that's fine.
In adhering to the script, upon which this novel is very loosely based, I'd forgotten this had become more of a hero's journey-type story. The major note will be applying the Joe Campbell goodness. I'll have to break some bones, but I'm sure the end product will be a lot better than the random collection of absurd scenes I'd welded together.
While everyone in LA heads off to the beach for the 4th weekend, I'm gonna be in the woodshed.
Meanwhile, I'm generating some script loglines. I wanna be working on a screenplay concurrent with the novel.
In adhering to the script, upon which this novel is very loosely based, I'd forgotten this had become more of a hero's journey-type story. The major note will be applying the Joe Campbell goodness. I'll have to break some bones, but I'm sure the end product will be a lot better than the random collection of absurd scenes I'd welded together.
While everyone in LA heads off to the beach for the 4th weekend, I'm gonna be in the woodshed.
Meanwhile, I'm generating some script loglines. I wanna be working on a screenplay concurrent with the novel.
Tuesday, July 1, 2008
Query of the Day
"This holiday, the Demons of Christmas, with their desire to corrupt innocent souls, kidnap the only ones who can stop them, The Spirits of Christmas. Once out of the way, they target, Mr. SCRUMGE, the true embodiment of Christmas. Scrumge learns charity fundraisers are a hoax, Bob Cratchit scams Tiny Tim as a cripple, his nephew Fred tries to kill him for his fortune. Scrumge's generosity fades, making him a cheap bastard. The good spirits escape, in super hero style they battle the evil spirits to save Scrumge and Christmas too!
The Holidays are right around the corner and we need a little spirit right this very minute! However the annual sweet and sugary sentimental Christmas movie just makes most of us want to gag. To appease this jaded view I have written my current screenplay entitled [title]. It received most Honorable Mentioned Comedy at "Screenplay Festival" 2007. Should you have any interest in a project like this please consider reading my screenplay."
The Holidays are right around the corner and we need a little spirit right this very minute! However the annual sweet and sugary sentimental Christmas movie just makes most of us want to gag. To appease this jaded view I have written my current screenplay entitled [title]. It received most Honorable Mentioned Comedy at "Screenplay Festival" 2007. Should you have any interest in a project like this please consider reading my screenplay."
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