Tuesday, December 30, 2008

The Baroque Cycle


While visiting my family in AZ, I had the quietude to finally finish reading The Baroque Cycle, Neal Stephenson's eight-book, three volume massive chunk of fiction, just in time for the year to draw to an end.

If I tried describing these things, I'd get real hyperbolic real fast, so I'll keep it simple and just say this is one of the best things I've ever read. There is no way I can recommend this series too highly.

That said, this isn't a quick read. The volumes are not only long, but dense. Stephenson is an extremely intelligent guy who does enormous amounts of research and puts it all on the page. The plotting is intricate, and the dialogue is spoken by smart people who like wordplay and spend time discussing finance, politics, religion and science in detail. There were times my brain was too tired for me to get traction on the page, and I just had to go to bed.

At the same time... man, there are several chapters that I re-read and re-re-read, not just entertained, but awed by the writing. (Jack's escape from India in The Confusion floored me). It's a prix fixe literary meal.

In the same way that I spent most of 2008 working my way through Oblivion and then Fallout 3, The Baroque Cycle swallowed up a vast chunk of this past year's reading time. Definitely worth it on all counts, but I found they were less entertainments than mighty tasks. For a while, I'm gonna need to focus on shorter/quicker/lighter titles when it comes to books and video games. To that end, I'm playing Fable II and reading some Bukowski.

Thursday, December 25, 2008

Dear Hello Kitty

New one here.

Tuesday, December 23, 2008

Sadly, I'm Still Shallow

For the past couple of years, but 2008 especially, I've been congratulating myself for finally being mature enough to enjoy '70s cinema.

I'm not talking about anything with a level of violence that was pertinent to my teenaged self - Taxi Driver I've been watching since junior high, for instance. I mean the movies that're about people and feelings and shit. Nothing could bore me faster.

Until recently...

One of the best things about Netflix is it offers a cheap and painless way to plug the more glaring holes in my viewing. So I'm finally catching up with titles like Last Tango in Paris, Serpico, Easy Rider (I know it's '69, close enough), etc. I watch them, the whole time sitting there thinking, "This movie's awesome! Why'd it take me so long to get around to it?" But I stopped the self-beratement... only to replace it with self-congratulation when I came to understand that before now I wouldn't have enjoyed them. Now, however, I have the requisite maturity. I am a man of the world who can watch a movie about people's emotions and shit. A time comes for all things.

Unfortunately, this blog posting thus far is nothing but a long-winded preamble to me saying that I shut off Five Easy Pieces fifteen minutes in so I could go back to shooting bandits in Fable II.

If I said something like that back in film school, everyone would've fallen outta their chairs like I'd released sarin into the room. "But it's Jack Nicholson's tour de force! He won the Oscar that year for Best Performance!"

Yeah, yeah...

The movie opens on a montage of oil workers in Texas doing their jobs. One of them is Jack Nicholson. He goes home and cracks a beer when he walks in the door like a man should, sits down and listens to his waitress girlfriend (Karen Black - and her legs) ask him to help her choose a song to perform. He begs off. They go bowling. She's a shitty bowler, and Jack gets pissy with her over it. But -- and here's where I started to check out -- it's not a fun Jack Nicholson flip-out, he's just a normal guy having a normal-guy-style temper tantrum over nothing, just being a dick. I guess that's Jack acting, but it wasn't fun to watch, just kinda... ugh.

Karen gets upset and goes out to wait in the car and cry. (There's a sense this is a normal Saturday night routine). While she's gone, Jack sits by himself and is sad... more acting. A couple of chicks from the next lane over throw Jack some game. He says nah and goes out to make up with Karen. They have a scene in the parking lot. She tries to get him to say he loves her, and Jack wiggles out of it. This is a long scene.

I shut off the movie.

From what I've read online, Jack is actually a brillaint pianist who's squandered his talent by running off to work in the oil fields. I'm sure this explains why Jack's a perfectionist, even when it comes to bowling, and the bitch-fest he weighs on Karen is probably the kinda thing he grew up with, and fled, even if it meant not using his musical ability. Apparently, he gets called home and has to face his past, etc.

The thought of watching this play out made my skin itch in a familiar way. It was the same itch I felt when I tried to watch Ordinary People when I was in high school. It was the same itch that bedeviled me the entire time I sat through Gosford Park, a movie I hated. Hated. HATED.

I knew Jacks' visit home would be a lotta long scenes of people being sad, and rooms full of actors just acting the living shit out of their sadness and each other.

It's difficult for me to wade through stories about people who have just kinda decided to be miserable. This isn't a 100% thing... I still love The Graduate, probably because I was able to get where Dustin Hoffman was coming from. And I think Paul Thomas Anderson is one of the great filmmakers of our generation. But the emotional travails of a pianist as told in long takes of bitch sessions? Not so much.

But... who knows? I'll check back in with Five Easy Pieces in ten years or so. Maybe by then I'll be able to enjoy it. And when that day comes, I'll take another crack at Altman and Cassavetes again, and my future, that-much-more-mature self will slap his forehead and yell, "Why did it take me so long to appreciate these awesome movies?"

I suppose I just have to take these things by degrees. You gotta walk before you can run, blah-blah.

And by the way, Last Tango in Paris is pretty fucking great.

Monday, December 22, 2008

Xmas 'n' Shit, Plus a Fable II Shout-Out

To the surprise of no one, I'm going to AZ to hang with the fam for Festivus.

It will be a "vacation" only in the sense that I won't be working at my day job for a few days. I got notes on the first draft of DEAD RIGHT THERE on Friday, and spent the weekend hacking at them. I'm developing another action franchise, and I'm hoping to crack out a first draft of FIGHT SCHOOL over the holidays. I'm planning to have at least two of these three projects done by the the first of the year. And I still need to rewrite DEMON.

So... besides a party or two, some basic cable and red wine, I'm basically taking the woodshed on the road.

Meanwhile, when I'm not writing, I've been watching John Adams (the amazing-AMAZING HBO miniseries) and playing Fable II. Boy howdy, do I loves me some Fable II.

I never played the first game. I got this one because it was very well-reviewed, and it was used and there was a deal involved. Game-wise, I've spent the majority of the past year on Oblivion and Fallout 3. Much as I love both games, I'm kinda burnt on 'em both. I needed something light and different, and Fable II is the antidote.

Fable II seems to be an effort to deliver on what you want and expect from a fantasy RPG (swords 'n' sorcery, monsters, etc.) while finding ways to turn around as many of the standard conventions of the genre as possible.

For example: the usual situation with games like this is you gear up your dude in weapons and armor, go out, kill monsters and steal their shit. You turn that shit into better weapons and armor, kill tougher monsters and steal their bigger piles of shit, wash, rinse and repeat.

In Fable II, you get a sword and a gun (!), but no armor. Your clothes affect how the NPCs react to you, and that's it. The monsters don't carry treasure. You still get experience for beating up bad guys, but the way to make money is by finding treasure chests and working at jobs, like blacksmithing (hard) and bartending (fun, but a bit monotonous). Then you take that cash and invest in real estate (!!!), which gives you a rent check every five minutes. The more shops and houses you buy, the bigger the bling.

You get a dog that tags along with you. You can name the dog. My dog's name is "Dawg," after the dog John Wayne had in The Sons of Katie Elder. It's weird that you can name your dog, but you can't name your character... you're called "Sparrow," no matter what. I guess that's so the dialogue makes sense, but I've seen other games -- Baldur's Gate comes to mind -- work around that.

This dog is fucking incredible. The animation is beyond belief. Not that it's photo real... it's in the performance. I had a couple of dogs when I was a kid, and man... they captured how dogs move and act. It feels like a real dog. You can teach the dog to find treasure for you. As you wander around, the dog'll start barking and sniff in a spot where you can dig up treasure, which you can use to buy a better sword/gun, or invest in more real estate.

There's also a real Sims influence. You can make your guy dance and sing, which makes all of the other characters gather around and watch. The more you fuck around, the more they like you. In the same way you can train your dog to sniff treasure, you can train your guy to have more options. I bought a lute, and he plays a little tune. If the villagers really like you, they offer a discount on stuff at the stores, and you can talk chicks into coming home with you.

Sex in video games isn't incredibly new... I put in some hours on Leisure Suit Larry when I was a kid. And there's a very cinematic love scene in Mass Effect. But this is the first game I've seen where sex is handled as a game mechanic instead of a cut scene. You can get married. You can have kids. You can cheat on your wife with hookers. What I'm trying to say is -- this ain't Ultima III.

The story and tone feels very Gilliam. It's fun and funny, it's wry, it's smart, it's light-hearted, it's veddy-veddy British. But, like the Gilliam stuff (or Caro/Jeunet) the game gets bleak as hell when that time comes. Without giving anything away... the trip to the Tattered Spire really creeped me out. The sequence does a great job of establishing just how bad the villain is.

On a side note, while playing this, I keep thinking this is Steve Townsend: The Video Game.

Tuesday, December 16, 2008

Blatant pimpin' for DRACULA: THE UN-DEAD

So the site is up, along with myspace and facebook pages.

Naturally, I'm friending across the board.

For all your Dracula needs...

Thursday, December 11, 2008

Air Guitar Nation

I watched this documentary Air Guitar Nation, and it is amazing.

The filmmakers are just a couple of guys in New York who hear in passing about a world air guitar competition that's held in Denmark every year. It's one of those little News of the Weird things you see online or whatever, no big deal. But then they find out that America is not only unrepresented at this thing, but there has never been an American air guitar contestant. Though they couldn't give a shit about an air guitar competition - they laugh about the idea - still... America is the fucking birth place of rock, and there's no one to represent?! This cannot stand.

So they rent out a bar and put up fliers that they're gonna have the east coast air guitar contest. It's still just this funny little thing they're doing. Then Howard Stern talks about it... and hundreds of people show up.

Including a local actor whose stage name is C-Diddy. He's a Korean dude who dresses up in a Hello Kitty chest plate and a red cape. Just like the filmmakers, he treats the whole things as a joke, just something funny to do.

However, his closest competition doesn't think it's a joke. His stage name is Bjorn Turoque, and he feels that air guitar is an art form. He takes it very seriously. While C-Diddy is all about costumes and performance, Bjorn works from the inside-out... he creates a core rock star persona, and brings that out on stage.

C-Diddy is kind of our in to this world, because he shares the viewpoint of the filmmakers and the audience of laughing at air guitar. I mean, c'mon... air guitar?! But as he rises through the ranks, puts work into his act and meets people who don't laugh at it, he - and we - start to get it. By act three, I was watching this on the edge of my seat, rooting for America to step up and represent against Europe's best.

Like most of the best documentaries, there are twists to this true story that blow away anything in fiction. I won't ruin anything - I want you to watch this movie, and experience these bizarre situations for yourself. Because I think, also like the best docs, this is using something that's kinda silly on its face to discuss themes that are very honest and human.

While watching Air Guitar Nation, I was thinking of The King of Kong and Darkon. Taken together, I think these three movies offer perhaps the truest discussion I've seen of the congruence of dreams with reality.

Like Steve Wiebe and Donkey Kong in Kong, C-Diddy and Bjorn put a huge amount of time and effort into perfecting what's basically a useless skill. If you were trapped on a desert island, getting a high score in Donkey Kong or having an awesome air guitar performance won't help you survive, for example. And, even sans the desert island scenario, these are skills that are the ultimate of inside baseball, only appreciated by a very small society of like-minded individuals, and laughed at by the world at large. BUT -- both Steve and C-Diddy express a desire to be the best in the world at something, anything - it doesn't matter what it is.

This isn't a unique urge to these two. I subscribe to Game Informer, and they like do to interviews with people who get high scores in various games. And the response they get is very consistently a variation on: "I don't care if it's a video game, I'm the best in the world."

And it's not just games. How do you explain the people who do weird shit just to get into the Guinness Book of World Records? There's no direct reward. For instance, playing basketball won't help you on a desert island either, but if you're the best basketball player in the world, you'll be rewarded with money, women, status and fame. Not so for the guy who can eat the most Madagascar cockroaches inside of a minute.

It's a desire to be unique, to be special, to show that you were put here for a reason. It's a desire for Steve Wiebe to be able to say yes, there are many seventh-grade science teachers in the world, but I'm the only seventh-grade science teacher that has ever lived who's flipped the Donkey Kong kill screen. The only one ever.

How else do you explain American Idol? Dancing with the Stars? America's Got Talent? Any fucking game show or reality show, for that matter? "There are many truck drivers in the world, but only one of them has competed on Survivor, and that one is me."

The vast majority of the human race is okay with mediocrity. But there are a percentage who are not. Some of that percentage have special skills or intelligence that allow them to become rich and successful. But what if you're not a very special person, yet at the same time you want to be special, anyway?

There is something very true and uniquely human about this urge.

Also - like C-Diddy and the filmmakers, I stopped laughing after a while, and eventually came to understand what made air guitar special not only for the people who enjoyed it, but objectively, to see it as an art form.

Okay, walk with me, here...

You hear a band and like their music. You buy the CD or the iTune or whatever. You can listen to that music all you want, you own it. But then you hear the band is coming to town. So you go see them... Why?

They're just going to play the same songs you already own, and can listen to all day. What's the reasoning behind spending more time and money to hear the song played again?

I get that there's something cool about being able to go, "Hey, it's Metallica! Standing right there! Like... right there, man!" But I've listened to a lot of live albums, and it's a very, very rare song that sounds better live than when it's recorded in a pro studio with professional production. It begs the question: when you buy concert tickets, what exactly are you paying for?

The performance.

You want to see rock stars act like rock stars on a stage, and give a performance. I've seen this from both sides. I've gone to shows and dug what the band was doing on stage - they're the stories you tell your friends about the show the next day. And while playing in bands, I saw a lot of acts who were four or five petrified white kids just fucking standing there, staring straight ahead, playing the songs they'd practiced in their garage and shuffling off stage... to a deafening silence. If you play in a band, you gotta jump around and be a maniac. If people just want music, they buy a CD or mp3. If they want to see a band, they're paying for a performance.

Okay. Put a pin in that, and let's talk about eurhythmics, which are just body movements made in response to sound. If you're tapping your foot while listening to a song, that's a eurhythmic. Obviously, that extends to dance. And just as obviously, this applies to air guitar - the act of playing an imaginary guitar while listening to music.

Dance is considered an art form.

If you spend five hundred dollars to sit in the front row at a Russian ballet, you're dropping that money to watch people in costumes move their bodies in response to music. They are not playing the music - the music is being created by either an orchestra (unseen, in a pit) or a playback of something that's been pre-recorded. No one would argue whether or not ballet is art... not just an art, but high art.

Thus, it follows that any performance that involves a person putting on a costume, getting on a stage and moving in rhythm with music that they do not themselves play is a form of art. This could apply to ballet... or air guitar.

Now - couple the paying audience's desire for a rock star performance with the idea that eurhythmics presented in the context of a performance brings us to the conclusion that, when taken seriously, air guitar is art.

Air Guitar Nation
was made before Rock Band and Guitar Hero became the massive entities they now are. These titles aren't just hit video games - they're cultural phenomena. For a while, I had a somewhat elitist view of these games. I thought, if people want to play AC/DC, why don't you pick up a real guitar, learn AC/DC songs and play them? But after watching Air Guitar Nation, I got over myself and realized it is like karaoke, a temporary fulfillment of a dream of being a rock star.

And that's what brought me to Darkon. In both Darkon and Air Guitar Nation, the people who are involved say variations of: "In real life, I'm this normal person. But when I'm doing XYZ, I'm special."

The game the people play in Darkon allows them to pretend they're fantasy heroes. The game people play in Air Guitar Nation allows them to pretend they're rock stars. In both cases, it's an arena of using imagination to engage in a waking dream.

And, as explained by the hero of Darkon, dreams are a way to find value in lives that would ordinarily not be considered valuable.

In Air Guitar Nation, we learn that the contestants are judged on a variety of factors: performance, costume, etc. The usual stuff. But there is an x-factor. One of the criteria is called: "airness." It is difficult to qualify in a hard-and-fast way, but is generally described by the people in the doc as the part of your performance that transcends air guitar, and becomes something else. C-Diddy learns that the greats in the air guitar world achieve their wins because they have mastered airness.

And I thought: what if you applied that concept to other things besides air guitar? What if you applied that to life? How can you approach normal life in such a way that it transcends that humdrum reality, and becomes something else?

Like airness, it's hard to qualify in a firm way. And that's because it's via imagination and dreams.

I have seen a lot of brilliant documentaries in the last couple of years. I think it's a cinematic form that is really coming into its own. And I always come away from the best docs with a thought that's affected me, some lesson learned. There's a value to these movies that is - directly or indirectly - applicable to life. Because they're the stories of human beings, and are thus relatable to anybody who can stop laughing at the weirdoes long enough to open their eyes and realize that we're all weirdoes, just in different ways.

Thursday, December 4, 2008

Query of the Day

This one speaks for itself:

"Hey hows it hanging? Good glad to hear it. Lets cut the bullshit... Looking for next years big holiday blockbuster?

Well I got it. "[title removed]" aka "[other title removed]" Based on Charles Dickens's "A Christmas Carol" WAIT!!! I know you have seen every version done know to man - from Muppets to the old west, outer-space and modern-day. Check out this twist with an hint of piss and vinegar for all those of us who are jaded and sick and tired of all the sweet sentimental sugary shit hollywood spoons out each year.

This holiday, the Demons of Christmas, with their desire to corrupt innocent souls, kidnap the only ones who can stop them, The Spirits of Christmas. Once out of the way, they target, Mr. SCRUMGE, all around nice guy and saint. Scrumge discovers charity fundraisers are a hoax, Bob Cratchit scams Tiny Tim as a cripple and his nephew Fred tries to kill him for his fortune. Scrumge's generosity fades to the Demons delight. By Christmas Eve his soul will belong to them. However the good spirits escape and in super hero style they battle the evil spirits to save Scrumge's soul and Christmas too!

Now for the kiss-ass part...
Should you be interested in a project like this please take the time to make your assistant read the script. Thanks for your time, and happy holidays.

Oh and if you pass this up, Santa's gonna kick your ass!!! "