Wednesday, April 30, 2008

A WORD OF WARNING

This appeared in my in-box, along with an official-looking IRS banner:

"Over 130 million Americans will receive refunds as
part of President Bush program to jumpstart the economy.
Our records indicate that you are qualified to receive the
2008 Economic Stimulus Refund.
The fastest and easiest way to receive your refund is by
direct deposit to your checking/savings account.
Please click on the link and fill out the form and submit
before May 01th, 2008 to ensure that your refund will be
processed as soon as possible.
Submitting your form on May 01th, 2008 or later means that
your refund will be delayed due to the volume of requests we
anticipate for the Economic Stimulus Refund."

I'm like, "cool, more beer money." Click through to the form. And it needs a credit card number, security code on the back of the card, my debit's PIN, my mother's maiden name, social security...

Bullshit.

It's a very good replica of a government site page. Just for fun, I click on the "links" to other areas of the site. Guess what? I just get the "verification form" again. What a coincidence.

Just thought I'd throw out a word of warning.

30K

Last night, I hit 30,000-words in FRANKENSTEIN'S MONSTER. About a third of the way through a 100,000-word first draft. This week has been great for writing, really flowing. I worked on DEMON all this past weekend, wrapped up the rewrite and swung right back into FRANK. The momentum carried from the screenwriting to the novel. I'm a happy guy. Would've been farther along if I didn't work on IMPLANT and DEMON, but it was for a good cause.

The original FRANK screenplay, upon which this novel is VERY loosely-based, was a much clunkier animal, full of stops and starts and weird pauses and expo downloads. It was a product of the level of craft I had at the time, back when I was still in film school. These days, I just shake my head at it... but I realize that's just a function of moving forward.

Hagakure
tells us we should be better today than we were yesterday, and better tomorrow than we are today. I try to apply this to the day job and the writing. That concentration -- the act of waking up in the morning and literally thinking I'm going to be better today -- has paid off in a very tangible way. Not like I'm this brilliant genius, because I'm very aware I'll always have to improve, every day of my life. But I can look back and see the road traveled. If there's any value to old writing, it's that.

In a similar way, I roll my eyes at some of the shit I worked on in the first couple of years as a producer. And since I'm talking to people every day who know a fuck of a lot more than me, I'm well aware of the vast chasm of knowledge I want to acquire. I'll always be learning new ways to be a better manager and a better producer. I always want to know everything about everything, and that makes me somewhat doomed to a career of Sisyphean unhappiness.

(As a sidebar -- if there's anything that sucks about being mortal, it's the fact that, by the time you get a decent pile of experience, knowledge and wisdom together, you're dead. If you're reading this and you're a vampire, please give the office a call. I'm usually here after the sun sets).

In this current version of FRANK, I'm applying what I've been doing in my scripts for years now, and I think I've gotten pretty good at: taking about all the boring parts. You can always tell an amateur script when the characters stop at a bar or coffee shop to sit down and trade exposition. I'm not hatin': I used that device a lot in my first ten scripts, including the original version of FRANK -- in this case, a diner.

I'm also applying a 20/80 story structure to the novel. At 30K, we're already well into the first half of act two. We've already had a fight with ninjas, a set piece with an office buiding full of robots, a couple of rad explosions, the bad guys lost a man and the main baddy's sworn revenge. I've gotten comfortable with the truncated first and third acts, to the point that it's kinda my default structure unless the story demands otherwise. For example, I tried it with IMPLANT, but the set-up felt strangled and the peeps suggested I shift it into standard three-act, with plot point one coming in the early-30s. That worked a lot better.

And the character work has been coming along very nicely, IMHO. It's a matter of threading the beats together so the character's internal journey moves forward, while making it as organic as possible so the strings aren't showing. I'm a somewhat lazy and shallow guy, so I usually use jokes as a fall-back, and try to dovetail it into a backbeat with some shading. I'm not very good at scenes where characters do nothing but chit-chat about their fucking feelings; I'm too much of a lout to make that shit ring true. I almost always have to keep stuff like that super-short, or leaven it with action (or sex, if it's a script). I'll just chalk that up to one of the many things I'll improve tomorrow... and tomorrow... and tomorrow...

Tuesday, April 29, 2008

Film School

I'm really looking forward to this weekend's film school session. We're rolling up our sleeves on Italian horror. On deck, we've got an Argento double-header with Tenebre and Deep Red, followed by Fulci's Demonia. We had a lot of choices for the third pick, but were ultimately swayed by the creepy zombie nun on the cover.

This past weekend, I watched Wrong Turn 2. I got it mostly because my man Texas Battle -- he of Hitting the Bricks fame -- is a co-star. I scored it from Netflix just for Texas, but as a bonus I discovered Henry Rollins plays a crazy ex-Marine-turned-reality-show-host, and Erica Leerhsen, one of my favorite scream queens, is in there, too.

Texas is great. His reaction to the chick getting naked in the stream is priceless. Erica's fine, though she has to try to sell some awful dialogue at times. ("I don't know if you've noticed, but I can be kind of a bitch sometimes." Groan...) They dyed her red hair blonde and jet-black to make her look Gothed out. It didn't do anything for me, especially since it was in service to a genre cliche -- we see a lotta Goth chicks showing up in horror movies these days. And Henry has some choice moments. It's pretty smart casting -- both Henry and his character are big, aggressive guys with a media-savvy streak. Good stuff.

Outside of the fun casting, the rest of the movie plays at the level of a DTV knockoff of The Hills Have Eyes remake. Weirdly enough, I had very similar feelings about the first Wrong Turn -- a mediocre movie somewhat elevated by good casting. In that flick's case: Desmond Harrington in the lead, Jeremy Sisto and another of my fave scream queens, Lindy Booth.

I know they stuck Eliza Dushku on the poster/cover, but I wasn't crazy about her character's default setting to "formless anger for no good reason." I understand the desire to build a character with some strength and edge, but is being as persnickety as possible at all times the best way to build sympathy with the aud?

Not to say the Italian movies I love so much are these brilliant works of cinematic genius, but they make up for the ludicrous plots and atrocious dialogue with imagination and all-out, batshit insanity. I'll take nightmare imagery over by-the-numbers gore fests any day.

Friday, April 25, 2008

Cougar Shot in Chicago

AWESOME.

I Saw Hulk Hogan the Other Day

Hanging around in front of the Gold's Gym in Venice. He was with the blonde chick, and talking to a guy. It's true, I wouldn't lie about this shit. There's no mistaking the Hulkster.

The Hobbit

You're probably already heard about this, but I had to talk about it... according to this article in Variety, Guillermo del Toro is gonna direct The Hobbit.

Wowwie-wowwie-wow-wow-wow!!!

Del Toro and The Hobbit is cause for a worldwide geekgasm. That shit's on par with... I dunno, Evil Dead IV? A Zatoichi series on HBO directed by Takashi Miike? A Boba Fett stand-alone feature film directed by Peter Jackson?

The term "beloved childhood classic" has become this kinda hackneyed cliche. But man... if any book is a beloved childhood classic of mine, it's that one. I can easily say I read it over a dozen times when I was a kid. It still resonates with me.

And Del Toro is one of our strongest fantasy voices today. I've seen Pan's Labyrinth three times now, and it keeps holding up. What a brilliant movie. I'm not quite as crazy about Blade II and Hellboy as a lotta people are -- I'm more of a Devil's Backbone guy.

But, end of the day, I know he's gonna turn in an amazing movie. I can't wait to see what comes out the other end of this process.

Wednesday, April 23, 2008

Bearwatch Bulletin April 23, 2008

According to this article in the LA Times, the "trained" bear from Semi-Pro bit some dude on the neck and killed him.

Allow me to point out that the dude in question was an experienced animal trainer, not some tourist with Doritos in his pocket.

You can't trust these furry assholes. Or, I guess you could, but that would mean you're asking to get eaten. Suicide-by-bear is not the way to go in life.

In the immortal words of Billy Milano:

Don't go in there
You best beware
And please don't feed the fuckin' bears!

Tuesday, April 22, 2008

More DragonForce, and Italian Horror

Check out this video.

They're on mountains battling with guitars while an alien fleet destroys the planet.

Shit, man... HOW CAN THEY BE MORE COOL?!

One of the many reasons I dig metal is the over-the-top fantasy/sci-fi imagery. What's Iron Maiden without Eddie? Know what I mean? I can't get enough. I love this shit.

I've been cranking hard to wrap DEMON. And I've been keeping up a steady diet of devil music while I'm writing. Walk in the door, flick on the laptop, and toss in Best of Deicide. Followed by Slayer. Suicidal Tendencies. Marilyn Manson.

Total bliss.

For very similar reasons, I'm counting the seconds for Brutal Legend to come out on the 360. I'm excited about GTA IV, but Brutal Legend is the title that makes me all antsy and weird. Gimme the fucking game!

I watched The Assassination of Jesse James by the Coward Robert Ford the other day. It's amazing, just absolutely brilliant cinema. Andrew Dominik wrote and directed this and Chopper, which fucking rules. This cat is walking with a big 2-and-0. I can't wait to see what he does next. The whole cast is great. Brad Pitt's phenomenal, and Casey Affleck's perfect -- his Bob Ford is a weird, empty, creepy dude you kinda hate and kinda feel sorry for, like a real-life Gollum. And Roger Deakins on photography. The man's up there with Darius Khondji in my book for pure brilliant brilliance. A caveat: Assassination is very measured and character-driven. It's not for everyone. If you thought The Unforgiven was boring, pass on Assassination and go watch Young Guns II. Again.

And I Netflixed Zombi 3, but it wouldn't play. Nothing is more heartbreaking than getting a movie from Netflix -- it's so close! it's in my HAND! -- and still not getting to watch it.

I was planning on writing a giallo-type slasher. I loaded up my Netflix with Italian horror. I've seen a lot, more than most. But these guys were fucking prolific, man... I haven't even scratched the surface of everything Bava, Fulci, Argento and gang put out there.

Last week, I decided against doing the slasher. I wanna get FRANK done. But I'm gonna keep the Italian horror in my queue. I love these movies. They're weird and amoral and lurid, kinda like what Hammer was doing in England. Yeah, the acting's terrible and nothing quite makes sense. But these aren't by-the-numbers horror pix -- they're nightmares put to screen, with all of the bizarre imagery and illogic that comes with that territory. They look a lot like the nightmares I have.

I've gotta catch up with some H'wood titles I let slip: the third Pirates, stuff like that. But right after, it's into the Argento. First up? Fuckin' Tenebre, homes. Then Deep Red, The Psychic and Two Evil Eyes.

Good times.

Friday, April 18, 2008

T-Shirts and Shit

I'm opening a store on cafepress.com. Sometimes I see or hear funny shit and I think, "That would make a badass t-shirt or something."

Thanks to the magic of the internet, now I can pour that thought into a physical reality.

I'm just now getting it going... There's nothing in there yet. But I should have a couple of things in there by next week.

This ain't about the cash. I'm only gonna kick the basic price up by a buck. I'm throwing this up mostly because I'm amused by the idea of inflicting ridiculous in-jokes on the world. That, and I'm usually wearing a t-shirt or something when I write. Why not hang around in custom shit? There's every likelihood I'll be my own best customer.

Thursday, April 17, 2008

I'm a Shitty Blogger

I haven't posted as much as I'd like because I've been busy as H-E-double-hockey-sticks. At the day job, I'm juggling several scripts out to the town right now. Writing-wise, IMPLANT is still alive at a couple of studios, and I've been busting my ass to wrap up the rewrite of DEMON so it's ready to follow on IMPLANT's heels.

And I'm trying to finish Elder Scrolls IV: Oblivion before GTA IV comes out. It ain't easy... Oblivion is a monster huge game. Don't get me wrong, it's a blast. I have a lizard man tricked out in demon armor, who carries a sword which inflicts cold damage at night and fire damage by day. And he's got poison and an evil bow and can summon ghosts. All of which is pretty sweet biz for my inner D&D nerd.

But since I spend the majority of my limited time at home either sleeping or writing (in case you haven't noticed), I don't have the hours to burn on games. For a long time I did. Then I came out to Hollywood, and those days are gone.

And I've been trying to get some movies in. Every night, I come home and a stack of unwatched Netflix give me a reproachful look. Gaaaahhh... the eternal irony of my life is I spend so much time producing and writing movies that I gotta fight to find the time to see the fuckin' things.

Also: the Townsend told me about the cougar the cops shot in Chicago. Whaddaya know? It was haunting Roscoe Village, which is where the Village Tap resides. Knowing my luck, I'd visit the home town, swing into the Tap for a brew, and get pounced on by a fucking mountain lion.

Speaking of cougars, I attended a swanky-swank party this past Friday. It was the kinda thing where it's held at a mansion in the Hills, awesome view overlooking the city, a pro chef making hor d'oeurves, vineyards with little booths handing out free wine, etc. I was there 'cause the guy I cast as one of the leads in HITTING THE BRICKS was singing at the party. I mentioned that to the woman who invited me, and the words "casting" and "singer" pinged out across the room. Seconds later, I got pounced on by every middle-aged woman who imagined herself as a torch singer in the making, a very common breed of cougar in LA and New York.

I pried their claws out of my shirt, got drunk on red wine and split. Good times.

Wednesday, April 9, 2008

IMPLANT

In case you haven't heard, my thriller spec IMPLANT went wide to the town yesterday.

Here's hoping we find a home for Harlan and Gabrielle...

Monday, April 7, 2008

Ils

Last night, I watched Ils, which is apparently French for Them. It's creepy as fucking hell.

Seems like it was gigging around the fest circuit for a while. I read a bunch of great reviews in the online horror forums, but it wasn't available from Netflix until very recently. It hung around in my Save file for a loooooong time.

Boy, is it worth the wait. A good-looking French couple go to a big house in the Romanian countryside for a weekend of drinking wine and screwing. That night, someone starts fucking with them, and it goes from bad to worse. Based on a true story.

Nothing we haven't seen in different versions in other movies -- there are parts that reminded me of Martin, Black Christmas and Halloween. Ils doesn't reinvent the genre or anything. It's just a really solid, creepy, suspenseful horror-thriller that isn't a remake or sequel. The opening sequence is awesome.

The French have been really stepping up to the genre plate in the last several years. They don't have the Hollywood attention J-horror's gotten, but the French genre flicks I've seen have been consistently good. Though I've noticed all of the French pics are very grounded -- all slasher, no supernatural. It's the flipside of the Asians and their wall-to-wall ghost stories. It would be cool to flip the script and get a Japanese slasher, and a French ghost story.

Friday, April 4, 2008

Working and Writing

I went to AZ last week to hang with the fam.

This week, I've been working and writing my ass off. I finished the first draft of my script DEMON last Thursday, turned around and got back on FRANK. I'd been away from the novel for a couple of months, so I did a thorough edit of everything I'd written up to that point. I shaved down a lot, lost a ton of word count, but what remained was sharper and stronger. After sprinting on it most of the past week, I'm back to 25K-words, which puts me a quarter of the way through this bad boy.

I got side-tracked again this week, but for good reason... I took a couple of days to buff and polish IMPLANT before it goes wide next week. There is nothing more soul-crushing than handing in a script, the reps take it out to the town... and finding a fucking typo or ghost or whatever. Every rewrite has brought IMPLANT to the next level, so I didn't mind rolling through it.

Soon as that baby's put to bed, the spotlight goes back to FRANK. Plan is to finish the novel by mid-May, crack out a script, and have it ready for the autumn sell season.

Meanwhile, my days are all about THE UN-DEAD. It's lookin' good. After years of trying to roll this rock up the hill, our Dracula movie seems to be coming together in a real way.

All good stuff, just busy as H-E-double-hockey-sticks.

More Dear Hello Kitty

It's Hoppy Easter Part Three LOL!

http://dearhellokitty.blogspot.com/