Friday, January 30, 2009

This Article Should be Required Reading in Every Film School

I have something of a love/hate relationship with The New Yorker. I think they print some pretty amazing articles, but I have to wade through their smarmy Manhattanite bullshit to get to them. Though the little cartoons help.

That said, I think this article should be required reading in every film school.

In many ways, my education did very little to prepare me for the real world film industry. There's this bizarre, pollyannaish attitude that you can write something like The 400 Blows, and Harvey Weinstein's gonna swoop in and give you a Rich & Famous Contract and they'll spend $100m to create your vision just because you're just so very very special and it's gonna open on 2000 screens and win an Oscar and you're gonna be a Hollywood rock star, the end.

In reality, I've found it's a synthesis of real estate, professional sports and wild cat oil drilling. But, instead of selling developed land, light sweet crude and the Chicago Bears, it's selling narrative dreams which cost hundreds of millions of dollars to put into a format which can be shared with other humans. And you usually only get to keep doing that if the one you created before made money.

Thursday, January 29, 2009

The Gym, and Civilization Revolutions

I've joined a new gym, which has given me the unique opportunity to beat the living shit out of myself on a regular basis. Which has also had the unexpected side effect of me dialing back my Netflix somewhat... because when I get home from a pummeling, I'm way more interested in a shower and sleep than sitting around watching movies. For a while, I was getting in 4-5 movies a week. Now... well, Man on Wire and Jan Svankmayer's Faust have been sitting on my desk and giving me sulky looks.

But I still write.

I traded in all of my old PS2 games for a couple of newer 360 titles, including Civilization Revolutions. I never played any of the Civ titles on the PC - I was way more into stuff like Diablo 2. Civ is a massive wad of a game, a very prix fixe experience. And the reviews online stress that this is like Civ-light for console noobs like me. I can only imagine what the "real" games are like.

(Side note to anybody who's reading this and doesn't know what the fuck I'm talking about: Civilization is a game in which you take control of a culture from various eras of human history - British, Egyptian, Mongol, etc. - and play through a "what-if" scenario of world domination by developing your technology, culture, infrastructure and military).

I'd already gotten into the rhythm of getting in 20-30 minutes on a game and moving on with my life... a habit which was perfect for Dead Space or (to a lesser extent) Fable 2. Y'know, play up to the next save point, go to bed kinda thing.

All of this is my long-ass way of saying I've had this game for a couple of weeks now, and I'm still on my second game, total. I like world building, and Civ definitely scratches that itch. And it offers something that was lacking in Age of Empires: the ability to make massive technological leaps versus your opponent. Age of Empires always kept you pretty close tech-wise, with only fleeting edges here and there, e.g. your guys might have gunpowder before everyone else, but five minutes later your opponents all have it, too.

However, in Civ, I get the sick and smutty joy of attacking armies of British redcoats with B52 bombers and tank blitzkriegs, sinking Egyptian slave galleons with my battleships. This may sound like cruel treatment to their little pixilated asses, and their little pixilated widows and orphans. But in my cold and Darwinistic video game fantasy world, if you fuck with the Aztecs, you'd better be prepared for me to crush my enemies, see them driven before me and hear the lamentations of their women.

And I just got done reading Dear American Airlines, which I just couldn't get into... I finished it because it was short and, by the time I realized I couldn't care less about the main protagonist, I was already almost done with the book. Onto Neal Stephenson's The Diamond Age.

Wednesday, January 28, 2009

This Made Me Laugh

This article in The Onion is conclusive proof that Obama + Conan is a doable equation.

Also: I'm of the opinion that there should be more attention paid to Conan by the government as a whole. The barbarian knows how to get shit done.

And just to be a fucking geek about it, I should point out that the story to which he refers is "The Tower of the Elephant." Conan is breaking into the tower and runs into another thief who's in the process of doing the same. (A situation lifted for the movie, but replacing Valeria with Taurus). Busiek also adapted the story in his run, and it's great.

Taurus brings his experience and specialized thieving tools, and Conan brings his general badassery. It's also one of the trippiest Conan stories... If I had to guess, this was probably the one that Lovecraft read that made him think, "This is guy I should be talking to..." (Either this or "Red Nails.") It starts out in standard Conan territory, and wanders into some seriously weird shit. Good times.

Monday, January 26, 2009

Query of the Day

This one speaks for itself:

"Mysterious disappearance of several military planes in area of the Bermuda Triangle entails a circuit of improbable and stunning events. One of pilots is John Mason at the last instant avoids fatal trap of the Bermuda Triangle, but he is immersed in a coma. Skilled doctor of reanimation is Richard Graffield decides to make experiment with revealing the reasons of a coma of John Mason who has survived in a mysterious trap of Bermuda Triangle. He invites professor Hedberg who is a progressive figure and the innovator in the field of electronic sensory-scanning and feelings diagnostics. Professor Hedberg agrees on experiment and comes to hospital. But at first use of the video-navigation scanner a participants of experiment make inconceivable jump in the time and a space, they becomes witnesses of the real events which happened in the Atlantes Civilization many thousands of years back; hardly later they also get to know the full reason of catastrophe of the Atlantis. Intrigued professor Hedberg decides to finish the research which now throws light not only on the reasons of a coma of John Mason, but also gives a certain caution off possible catastrophe... Professor Hedberg and girl assistant Jane arrive to Tibet, where enshrined in their opinion the secret message of Atlantes to people of the future... After some extreme situations they find out this secret and receive a key for rescue off new planetary catastrophe, which can happen, as the strategic Network already is under threat of start of a nuclear arsenal... At the last moment the secret of great Atlantes and also their fatal mistake becomes clear and simple. And people of our Civilization should correct this mistake..."

Wednesday, January 21, 2009

Tuesday, January 20, 2009

Query of the Day

Now that the Inauguration is done, we can get back to the serious business of Query of the Day. God save the people of Chicago!

"Marcus Killminster is not someone you want to mess with. He's a heavy metal coke junkie with an attitude, and a man that physically can't feel fear. He smashes faces. He pulls eyes out. He never runs from a fight and he loves to use his blade. And that's before he meets Douglas, the man who can get you anything. Douglas speaks of grand sex parties with drugs and beautiful women. Marcus is sold on the idea and goes with Douglas to a party in the Chicago suburbs. There he meets Delia, a Satanic Bathory type Goddess, who seduces Marcus and includes him in a blood ritual. Marcus is forced to drink fresh blood and has an instant psychedelic reaction. The blood gets him off and he wants MORE.

After the party, alone and back on the streets of Chicago, Marcus is a mess. None of the ordinary pleasures can satisfy his craving. Not the drugs or the women. He's hungry, but it's not for food. Something is calling from inside him. That addictive part of his personality has found a new best friend. Fresh blood is what he needs. Fresh blood is his new drug.

God save the people of Chicago."

Friday, January 16, 2009

Dinosaur Comics


This comic is brilliant. And here's the link.

Thursday, January 15, 2009

Query of the Day

This one's so soapy I got bubbles in my eyes from reading it...


"GENRE: Drama

LOGLINE: A Chicago philosophy professor returns to the tiny art community of Taos, New Mexico, to fulfill her dying sister's last wish.

SYNOPSIS: An accident at a hot springs prompts philosophy professor Dawn Hill to return to the hippie art community of Taos, NM. Living in academic isolation in Chicago, Dawn is reluctant to reconnect with the family and memories she abandoned years ago. But when she discovers she is the legal guardian of her nephew, 15-year-old Cross, Dawn makes the journey.

Even from her comatose state, Dawn's sister Shanti seems to have the power to manipulate the lives of those around her: a son with cystic fibrosis, a lesbian Buddhist priest lover, and the man both sisters dated in high school. Dawn struggles to understand the sister she never knew, the angst of being an emo kid, and the unwanted love of a man she left years ago.

For 48 hours, Dawn and all of Shanti's eclectic friends must wait until a recipient for her lungs is found. But sometimes it takes a death in the family to knit a family back together. And in a colorful place like Taos, the healing takes on every possible manifestation under the sun."

Monday, January 12, 2009

Jonah Hex

When I was a full-on comic nerd in the early-to-mid-'90s (and I define that by the fact that I had a "weekly pull"), I only read a couple of issues of Jonah Hex. I dug the Western-meets-Lovecraft idea, but I dunno... I just wasn't that into Westerns at the time, so I pretty much ignored the character.

I thought it was cool when Thomas Jane did himself up as Jonah Hex on spec (!), and those pictures managed to find their way to the internet. I'm a fan of Jane for a variety of reasons - I've defended his Punisher on more than one occasion - so the idea that he would just throw himself into the character like that added some points to Jonah's pro column, a coolness-by-osmosis.

Then it was in the trades last week that the Jonah Hex movie wasn't moving forward, at least for the moment.

Add all of that together, and you get the reason why I picked up the Jonah Hex omnibus at Borders the other day. Both DC and Marvel are putting out these massive collections of their older comics, and I fuckin' love that. I'm not an issue guy anymore, but I like catching up on titles in graphic novel format. There's no way in hell I'd go to a comic store and paw through their old-issue boxes, while at the same time I was more than happy to score a 500-page collection of back Jonah Hex stories crammed between two covers and stuck on a shelf for sixteen bucks, plus tax.

These stories are two-fisted Western pulp tales, a form of storytelling I love because it's clean and strong, there's no fucking around. You get a hero, a villain, a love interest, an A-story problem, fist fights, gunfights, tough guy lines, a twist at the end, and you're done. It is a zone of zero wankery, like a story put into liquid form and injected directly into your brain.

That's the long version of me saying: "I love this shit."

The stories reminded me of Robert E. Howard's Westerns.

Jonah Hex is a bounty hunter who's often mistaken for a villain. Everyone's scared of him. He says he's only interested in money, but his harsh personality belies a heart of gold (of course). Jonah tends to weigh in on the side of old friends and underdogs, and sometimes performs an act of charity when no one is looking.

He also expresses a desire for steak at least once per story.

Jonah's face is horribly scarred by an incident in his backstory. The left side of his face is fine, the right side -- monstrous. That, plus the fact that people end up dead wherever he goes, makes him an almost-supernatural personification of evil for bandits and innocent townsfolk alike.

The set-up reminded me of Zatoichi. Both men are afflicted in some way (Zatoichi is blind), but make up for it by becoming deadly killers, the fastest draw around. They wander around and get into adventures, and are as often mistaken for villains as heroes. It seems to be just one more thread connecting Westerns with samurai movies.

Two of my biggest creative influences are Robert Howard and H.P. Lovecraft. It's interesting that a single character has gone through a span in which his early adventures are very Howardian, and his later adventures are Lovecraftian. How was I not paying closer attention?

This past weekend was a woodshed for me. I broke up the writing with episodes of Mad Men and reading this huge wad of Jonah Hex. The ink stained my fingers, and that brought me joy - I think in some ways that's kinda what reading comics is all about.

Thursday, January 8, 2009

Busy

January is usually pretty chillin'. In years past, I've noticed it takes the town several weeks for everyone to rub the holidays out of their eyes. It's rare the anything of substance gets done until after Sundance.

Not so this year - we hit the ground running. By Wednesday, the phones were ringing in earnest. For us, the holidays were more like a long weekend than summer vacation, if you get my drift.

I'm taking this as a good sign that 2009 will be the year we see everything come to fruition.

Tuesday, January 6, 2009

DRT and Resolutions

I handed in the second draft of DEAD RIGHT THERE yesterday. Still kinda rough - this won't be the final draft - but it's coming along.

Now I'm working on the treatment for THE AGENTS, which I'm hoping to wrap up in a couple of days, and after that I'll go back to FIGHT SCHOOL until I get notes from the reps on DRT. When I finish the polish draft of DRT and the first draft of FIGHT SCHOOL, then it'll probably be on to execute THE AGENTS.

All in all, I have a pretty clear idea of what I'll be writing for the next sixty days or so. This brings me joy... if I don't have an upcoming slate, I get to feeling a bit adrift.

At the day job, we're starting to get the New Years resolution calls. As in, all of the people in the world who woke up on Jan the first and said: "This is the year I'm gonna break into Hollywood, get a rep and sell a script." They run right out, buy guides to agents and managers and, since we're right there at the front, they call us to pitch their scripts.

The people and scripts are different, of course, but the calls are so similar it's weird. They're variations on the theme of:

"Hi. I'm calling from New Jersey. Is this, uh... do you handle scripts? Like, sell them and stuff?"

"Yes."

"Oh. Good. I wrote a script."

"Great, send a query."

"A what?"

To the best of my knowledge, we have never, ever signed anyone who just kinda cold-called. With only a few exceptions, almost all of our clients have come from contests and connections.

I'm sure it's the same thing with gyms and colleges, this big Q1 influx of resolutionaries. I wonder what other businesses are affected by New Years resolutions.

Monday, January 5, 2009

Scene from the Starbucks on the Corner of Fairfax & Third

Waiting in line, the woman in front of me had a question for the barrista.

"Could I get an Americano without any of that white stuff in it?"

"Sure, but... an Americano is actually just a shot of espresso in hot water. There's nothing else in it. Are you thinking of a latte?"

Recognition. "Yes! A latte, gimme a latte. But, um... could you not put any of that white stuff in there?"

A moment on the barrista's part. Then: "You mean milk?"

"Yeah, don't put any milk in it."

"Okay."

"OH! And also - you know that sweet stuff that tastes like vanilla?"

"Do you mean syrup?"

"Yeah, gimme a shot of that vanilla syrup stuff."

Welcome to LA.

Friday, January 2, 2009

Writing, Reading and Gaming

What could be more self-indulgent than a post about what I'm writing, reading and playing, as if anybody gives a shit? But I'm a pretty self-involved guy - a classic only child - so that won't stop me.

I beat Fable II and moved on to Dead Space in my continuing effort to touch base with the big titles from 08 before trooping down to GameSpot to trade 'em in for the upcoming 09 releases. I like Dead Space... the easy pitch is "Resident Evil meets Alien." The game play is very, very similar to RE4, but since I loved that game this doesn't bug me. The sound design is excellent. The tech sounds a lot like the stuff in Alien... the heavy-breathy/staticky nature of the communications, the clicky old school sounds the computers make, etc. And the soundtrack quotes both Alien and The Shining. But the game would be way creepier if the threats were supernatural. The basic set-up here is some space miners unearth an alien parasite that turns into monsters. Boy howdy, that's exactly the set-up of RE4, except in a Spanish village instead of a space ship. And how did we come to a state of affairs in which a game like this makes me think, "Wow, yet another gang of slimy evil xenomorphs?" Starcraft, Gears of War, Resident Evil, Warhammer 40K... I'm as much of a Alien/Aliens geek as the next geek, but fuck - is there really no other inspiration in the entire world? At least Doom's xenomorphs came from Hell.

I think we could use more ghosts on space ships. Let's get some email into NASA and let them know. Also - vampires. Anyone remember the episode of Buck Rogers that had a Demeter-style ship full of vampires land? I saw that when I was about four years old, and it scared the living shit outta me.

I'm reading Jonathan Strange & Mr Norrel by Susanna Clarke. I'd read some great reviews and kinda filed the title in the back of my head. I saw a copy for seven bucks on a holiday clearance shelf in Barnes & Noble and snagged it. It's a thick book, lit-by-the-pound, but it's quick and easy reading. The back cover blurbs repeatedly mention Jane Austin, but I haven't read any Jane Austin (I know, I know...) so I can't say for sure if there's a similarity. Though I have read Oscar Wilde, and Strange is reminiscent. Most of the action takes place among London high society in the early-1800s. All of the characters are witty and snarky and polite and veddy, veddy British. There's a supernatural aspect - the title characters are magicians - but this ain't Harry Potter... It's more of a society farce that uses a fantasy conceit, a la Gulliver's Travels, Candide, The Canterville Ghost, etc. It's a fun book, and the writing is excellent.

I've spent the majority of my holiday time working on the second draft of DEAD RIGHT THERE. It's been a challenge - there were a lot of notes, and the story has a lot of moving parts. It's not quite a page-one rewrite, but almost might as well be for the work this one requires. The basic beats remain unchanged, while lots of other stuff (character motivations, backstory, etc.) is completely rewritten. Some of these things seem like minor notes, but the ripples are large. For example, in the first draft, there's a bomb that's set to go off in three minutes, and now we want the bomb to go off in only one minute. No big deal on the face of it, but the minor act of shaving two minutes off the time bomb has huge repercussions in terms of how the scene plays.

Rewrites are like playing Jenga - you pull out a block at a time, trying not to spill the tower.

Despite that, I've been steadily hacking at it over the holidays. I'd be surprised if I didn't wrap it up this weekend and hand in the second draft on Monday. Meanwhile, I'm working on a treatment for the next one down the road, kinda working-titled-for-the-moment THE AGENTS. And I still want to wrap up FIGHT SCHOOL and squeeze in rewrites of DEMON and PAR FOR COURSE. I blew off submitting anything to the Nicholl in 08, but I think I'll get a bunch of titles into the 09 contest. We'll see.

And I think I'd like to write another novel this year, too.