Bearwatch

I'm starting a new feature in my blog called "Bearwatch."

This is in response to having seen Grizzly Man, one of the best movies ever made. Werner Herzog made a compelling case that bears want nothing more than to fuck your shit up. We should keep an eye on them.

It's also a double reference to the watch Timothy was wearing when a bear ate him. In Grizzly Man, a lawyer bequeaths the watch to his next-of-kin, and helpfully points out that it's "still ticking." I was really impressed. Man, that's a hell of a watch. It's my firm belief that, if any watch in the world deserves to have magical, bear-related powers, it's that motherfucker right there.

Hence: "Bearwatch."

I've reported here on bears in the past. Now I'm making it official.

That said...


Wild thief leaves candy wrapper trail
By Doyle Murphy

November 08, 2007

Vernon, N.J. - A brawny thief smashed through a minivan’s window yesterday, took the vehicle on a short ride and dumped it on the side of the road before fleeing on foot into the woods, township police said.
Police have described the suspect as a black bear.
About 2 a.m., Patrolman David Dehardt noticed the 2004 Mazda minivan parked on the side of the road in the Highland Lakes section of the township.
Dehardt investigated and took detailed notes to describe the crime scene: paw marks on the windshield, bear drool on the cloth interior, claw marks on torn-off door panels, black hair on the seats and countless candy wrappers in and out of the minivan.
Based on his investigation, Dehardt developed a theory. The bear broke the window to steal a bag of Halloween candy and dislodged the parking brake, sending the minivan about 40 feet down a driveway and onto the road.
Dehardt followed a trail of candy wrappers into the woods, but was unable to locate the suspect.