Return of the Spindlies

So... the other day, I bemoaned the fact that I was plagued by an unending swarm of the skinny spiders I've been calling "spindlies" for lack of a better, more official term.

I posted that blog, and... the spindlies disappeared. I didn't see a single spindly in the days that followed. This was odd. Were they like a dream creature, in that I just had to face them down to make them go away? Were they embarrassed by the publicity? Or was it mere coincidence? Who the fuck knows?

Naturally, I wasn't going to complain that there were fewer spiders in my life.

Little did I know, they hadn't gone away. They just stepped back to regroup, and plot their most daring raid yet.

Last night, I wrote until I ran outta juice and played some Fallout 3 until I got tired. I went into the bathroom to brush my teeth.

Brush-brush-brush... brush-brush-brush...

From the corner of my eye, I noticed a strange movement. I turned my head --

-- and there was a spindly on my arm!!!

I started screaming the f-word really loud. But since my mouth was full of toothpaste and the toothbrush was still hanging out, it sounded more like "Musshh-fuuuuuuh! Fuuuumin-fuuu-guuuugh!!!" I slapped at my arm like it was on fire.

I ran out of the bathroom, yanked off my shirt and stomped on it. I gave it a few seconds, and shook out said shirt. No spindly corpse fell out.

I went back in the bathroom and looked on the floor. Again - no corpse.

Unless I've failed in locating its body - and that's a possibility, since they're so, y'know, spindly - the fucker is still at large in my lair.

I know this wasn't some random thing. First they're all over the place, then they vanish, and then one lands on me, and I'm expected to take that as coincidence? I've got two words for that: bull and shit. I'm convinced the spindlies went to the kind of care in planning this operation that would rival the most top secret mission undertaken by the Allies in WWII.

I don't think I'm going out on a limb by saying I think a guy should be able to brush his damn teeth without worrying if spiders are gonna drop on him or not.

Fuck the spindlies. Fuck them up their spindly asses.